I WANT TO BE LIKE JESUS

You've heard the phrase from back in the day, "I want to be like Mike" which was referring to people wanting to be like the retired famous basketball star, Michael Jordan. Don't get me wrong I am not taking anything away from him. He was without question one of the best if not the best basketball players that ever lived during that era. His talent speaks for itself so I am not going to delve into his accomplishments.

There were many people who admired him so much that they wanted to "Be like Mike." Everything with his name on it was sold out including ticket sales. Guys tried to imitate his moves on the court. His name was a household name and he could do no wrong in the eyes of many. I think people were so caught up in his talent on the court that they forgot he was human and definitely imperfect.

We get so caught up in celebrities, sports figures, politicians and the like that we forget they are just like us, someone born in sin and in need of a sinless, perfect Savior.

I don't know about you but I don't want to be like anyone but "JESUS." He had a personality of gold and platinum. He healed the physically sick, emotionally sick and spiritually sick. He delivered many people from demons of all kinds. He was extremely discerning. He had many followers, a few associates but only one intimate friend. He respected his parents even though they had flaws. He loved everybody including Judas Iscariot. He kept his enemies close and prayed for them. He loved God the Father more than everyone. He didn't take any foolishness. He admired children and their faith. He was a simplistic teacher. He had a special love and genuine care for his mother. He always prayed, obeyed and carried out the will of the Father.

As I sit and write this blog, my thoughts are on how my life has been drastically transformed by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Even though I am waiting on Him to manifest loads of promises and I have yet to be released into my destiny, my heart is at peace and I just want more of HIM!

The more I read about Him the more I realize my need for Him. The more He extends grace to me the more I want to extend grace to others. The more He forgives me the more I want to forgive those who hurt me. The more He encourages me the more I want to be an encouragement. The more I learn about Him the more I want to be a beacon of light to the world and the nations. The more He loves me the more I want to love those who ridicule, persecute, misjudge, mistreat and abuse me.

Wanting more of Jesus requires honesty and a willingness to change. You must "look in the mirror, examine yourself and accept what you see - flaws and all." It is not easy but it is doable. And always remember, God does not require us to do anything He has not equipped us to do.

This year I told the Lord I wanted more of Him! I don't care if the ministry stays on paper, if my books don't get published, if I don't get married or if He never releases me, I just want more of Him.

When Jesus left this earth He specifically said we would be able to do everything He did and more. However, we can't do this without repentance and allow Him to work in us so we will be like Him. But the most important thing He did outside of all the miracles, healings and deliverances was "Walk in Love." Jesus did absolutely nothing without "walking in love." As a matter of fact, the bible says we may operate in many gifts, but if we have no love then our works mean "nothing."

I Am Striving To "BE MORE LIKE JESUS!" What about "YOU?"

PRAYER REVOLUTION

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I pray that everyone reading this blog will have a fantastic, focused and Jesus-filled 2013!

I love quiet time with my Father. He is so sweet and loving and peaceful. I don't want to come out of His presence when we're spending time together. It is a feeling that cannot be described.

During one of our quiet moments I asked “Lord what should I blog about next?” I immediately felt in my spirit Prayer! Of course I thought what in the world could I possibly say. I mean everyone knows about prayer. But then I began thinking about how things have drastically changed in a short period of time. For example, they took “prayer out of schools.” “So Help Me God” is no longer allowed when being sworn in. And they wanted to take “In God We Trust” off the money.

We seem to forget this nation was founded on Christian principles and we have completely lost our sense of who God is and that He is holy and righteous and just. The world has spiraled completely out of control as well as some people. We are so quick to give an opinion when nobody asks. We are ready to criticize and judge. We are anxious to point fingers and complain about what is wrong with society. But I ask who is praying?

You don't have to look far to know the world is in a terrible state and we are trillions of dollars in debt. But when we exclude God from everything that is what happens. He then steps aside and we take His place because we obviously don’t need Him. But I ask who is praying?

The bible says in Ezekiel 22:30, I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none. Once again I must ask who is praying?

We as Christians need to do what Jesus did and that is take time to be with the Father in necessary PRAYER! Jesus knew where his source of energy came from. He knew who had all the answers.

Prayer is so precious to me. I wasn't always saved and filled with the Holy Spirit but I knew to cry out to the Lord during my troubled years. My grandmother always took me to church and I got to see firsthand how laboring in prayer produces results. There was only a handful of committed, serious, on fire for God little women in a store front church interceding. They lay on their faces for hours laboring on behalf of the people. I saw the women lay hands on the sick and they were made well. I witnessed prostitutes and pimps being delivered. There were people who came to the church with all kinds of addictions and the Lord set them free. I also saw demons being expelled from people. Whatever sickness, situation or problem you can think of it was prayed for in my grandmother’s church.

I must admit it was scary at first but my grandmother explained what was happening and I was okay. I not only saw prayers being answered but the genuine LOVE that was shown towards each and every person was truly enlightening and special. I know my grandmother passed that prayer mantle onto me which is why prayer is so endearing to my heart.

The bible says in 2 Chronicles 7:14, If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

There is too much at stake. People need to be saved. The backslidden must return to their first love = GOD. Deliverance has to go forth. Men, women and children need to feel hopeful again. Healing is screaming out all over the world. Our children need positive God-fearing role models. We need more Christian professionals. We absolutely MUST take back the world for Jesus Christ.

We are in spiritual warfare and the enemy is not playing. He wants everything he can get his grubby little nasty hands on. He is miserable in hell and he wants to get as many people down there with him as he can. Misery loves company. The devil is after our men and kids and he is systematically trying to keep Christians busy so they will either be too tired to spend time with the Lord in prayer or won't spend time with the Lord in prayer.

I'm not referring to a one hour a week session or even a few hours a week. I’m talking about getting down on your knees crying out to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords in agonizing prayer. Not thinking about all of your personal requests but asking “Lord who are you grieving for?” “What are you grieving for?” “Who shall I stand in the gap for?”

I understand people have jobs and there are so many things to do. It seems like there is not enough time in the day to do everything so who really has time to pray? Right?! But to be honest we can’t afford not to PRAY!

There was a time when I thought that I did not have time to pray. I tried to work God in the equation but somehow He was always an afterthought after I took care of everything else in my life. But then the Lord began preparing me for full-time intercession and I couldn’t figure out how to work full-time and pray. I was so stressed out because of my disobedience. I finally gave up, surrendered to the Lord and stopped working. It was then that I accepted the call and took the mantle to be a full-time intercessor for the Lord. It was tough and challenging and I received major persecution from family and others.  However, I have seen the Lord answer many prayers over the years and He is still answering!

I challenge you to make some changes in your life and set aside time for prayer. In addition, get others involved and hold daily prayer meetings, all-night prayer meetings, prayer walks, prayer conferences, etc. There is power in numbers and we are victorious in Christ. It is the Lord and all of US (Christians) against the world!

I leave you with this thought: If one person’s determination can take prayer out of schools then Christians can definitely revolutionize the world for Jesus Christ by spiritual force through consistent and fervent prayer! The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.  James 5:16

IT’S TIME TO START A PRAYER REVOLUTION

RIGHT JOURNEY WRONG TERRITORY

I was sitting in my bedroom the other day pondering over everything the Lord has delivered me through. Notice I said “delivered me through” not from. I am glad He allowed me to go through the trials and tribulations and not deliver me from the trials and tribulations.  As the Lord carried me through, I learned many lessons about me, God and others.

I continued to ponder and my mind went blank. I began looking at my situation in the natural and immediately got upset and discouraged. My journey with the Lord has been very interesting to say the least. Like Abraham I have had to leave family, friends and everything familiar. The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you. Genesis 12:1-3. I have traveled back and forth from the east coast to the west coast. And still have yet to be situated in the divine territory.

The Lord brought me back to the east coast over three years ago for many reasons. However, the main reason for my return never happened. But the Lord did not release me so I guess it’s fair to say I have been held here against my will. In the interim, I have written blogs, articles, updated the sequel, fine tuned the website, added to the vision, encouraged and prayed for others. I am thankful for how the Lord has used me but I have never felt fulfilled.

Even though I grew up in this area, family and people I went to school with and worked with are here, I was never satisfied with being in this territory. Even when I think back to the early years, I never liked living on the east coast. I tried very hard to get comfortable here but it just hasn’t happened.

Everything and everyone has become dull and lifeless. It is completely dead all around me. Thank God for His encouragement which has been giving me life and life more abundantly.

So what is the matter? Why can’t I settle down? Why does everyone and everything seem lifeless? What in the world is wrong with me? Is it really me? Or is it them? Why is my spirit so restless? Why am I so uncomfortable here? The million dollar answer is “I am on the right journey but in the wrong territory.”

When God has His hand on your life, it turns completely upside down and all around. God will put you in a box so you can’t move to the right or to the left. You literally have to unlearn everything you have learned in the world in order to be conformed to God’s ways and His thinking. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2

In addition, when you are on the right journey but in the wrong territory, God makes it extremely uncomfortable because when He says lets go that’s what He means let’s go now!

There can’t be any associations or attachments to people because then you will find it hard to depart. And sadly in some situations, people stay where they are and miss what the Lord has for them.

The Lord officially released me in the early part of last year. I was shouting all over the place. Needless to say, the excitement quickly dissipated. It became apparent that I would not be departing anytime soon. Bummer!

Even though I so desperately wanted to leave, the Lord still had other plans. I went on my first cruise in May, 2011 and met an anointed man of God. The irony of it is that I had no intentions on meeting anyone on the cruise. But like I said God had other plans. He and I met and God placed His love in both of our hearts. We have had our disagreements and misunderstandings and have separated for a period of time, but God has brought us back together and the love is stronger than ever. The best part is that he and I have never made love. Thank you Jesus!

In addition, after years of studying at the Lord’s feet, He divinely set it up so that I was ordained in May, 2012. My best friend was also ordained alongside of me. In September, 2012, I met two wonderful gentlemen with a craving for the Lord who so graciously prayed and anointed me for my departure into my divine and fabulous destiny! Hallelujah to the King of Kings!

A month after being anointed and prayed over, I began feeling discouraged and betrayed. I was upset with the Lord because I was still here. I wasn’t talking to Him and did not want to hear anything else about me departing. My attitude didn’t last because I knew that could hinder me from leaving. Once I got myself together, the Lord began giving bursts of encouragement and sweet kisses from heaven!

I know my departure is any day now and I am more than expecting. I am keeping a positive and grateful attitude and when I need to, I encourage myself the way David did.

This season has been the hardest and longest because I know I am on the right journey but in the wrong territory! But knowing my purpose, staying focused on the prize and having an intimate relationship with the Lord has most definitely kept me and will continue to keep me. “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid…. Hebrews 13:5-6

If you need prayer to remain stable while being on the right journey but in the wrong territory, please click intercession on the website and I would be more than happy to pray for you.

RIGHT JOURNEY WRONG TERRITORY IS ONLY FOR A SEASON SO HANG IN THERE UNTIL GOD RELEASES YOU INTO YOUR DIVINE DESTINY!

PRIVATE SINS

“It’s okay I’m not hurting anyone by doing this.”

“Nobody needs to know and God understands.”

“I’m entitled to keep some things to myself.”

“This is private and I really can’t share.”

“I feel ashamed and dirty.”  “I don’t want to be looked down on.”

“What will people think if I reveal this nasty little secret?”

“I’m a Christian and I shouldn’t be struggling with this.”

“Besides I’ve shared pretty much everything about my life.”

“That’s why I know God doesn’t mind if I keep this one to myself.”

Private Sins are those sins that nobody knows about but you and God. A person cannot look at an individual and know he or she is in bondage to a private sin. At first you feel bad because you know it’s wrong. But because private sins are “hidden” from the public, you keep doing them.  Eventually private sins consume you and become your idol. Once this happens, you feel there is no way out so you make excuses like the ones above. You want to stop but can’t. You want to tell someone but can’t. It feels good even though you know it is wrong. So you keep indulging and making excuses. It’s not so bad you think and I’m okay. 

The sad truth is you may think your private sins are not hurting anyone but in fact they are hurting someone. That someone is YOU! Every second you commit your private sin there is something being taken away from you mentally and spiritually. The longer you keep them private the more the devil is winning the battle over your life because he knows there should not be any private sins. Whatever you keep hidden is not exposing his mess and lies so he still has a hold on you. 

I have lived with my private sin for more than twenty years and I am tired of living this lie and being in bondage to the devil. Because the devil is a liar and a deceiver he makes you think that things are okay because God is using you to do great things. What the devil doesn’t tell you is that God will not use you to your fullest potential because of bondage to the private sins.

I have used the above excuses for so long until I am tired of hearing them come out of my mouth. It has been like a broken record. I’m tired of repenting for the same private sin over and over and over again. Enough is enough. God has used me in mighty ways but I also know God has an awesome purpose for my life and I can’t move forward into my divine destiny until my private sin is once and for all EXPOSED in the Name of Jesus!

Some examples of private sins are: masturbation, pornography, cybersex, using sex toys, etc.  My private sin is masturbation and I was living in total deception all these years. I really thought I was free because I had exposed everything in my books and in giving my testimony but in reality I was still in bondage to the masturbation. The secret was eating me up inside and I didn’t know it. I am finally exposing it so I can be permanently delivered from the stronghold. 

You may be wondering what made me decide to come forth now with this exposure. Well I told God the last time I masturbated that I was tired of repenting and seeing no results. I have read scriptures and more scriptures and still no deliverance. What do I need to do? Please tell me because I don’t want to keep masturbating. The Lord spoke to my spirit and said in order to be free you need to expose it. Okay I thought. But expose it how? Write a blog and expose it for what it is. I thought wow expose it huh? Needless to say I wasn’t doing somersaults through the house after that revelation. But it was either be set free finally or stay in bondage. 

Committing private sins is self-indulgence and we are not supposed to depend on our fingers and eyes and toys to fulfill our fleshly desires. The Lord can and will keep us until we are married if we depend on Him. 

If you are reading this blog and you struggle with private sins, you have to be extra careful in protecting yourself from getting stirred up in the flesh. You have to cry out to the Lord even more and meditate fervently on scriptures. You must stay away from watching sensual programs and movies. In addition, you must be extremely careful in what you allow your ears to hear and/or listen to. Stay away from sensual songs or songs that allude to sensuality and lust. 

I know the devil is not happy now that this private sin has been exposed. He will come after me even harder to try and get me to masturbate. If I were to give in, he would get pleasure in calling me a hypocrite. But the devil is still a liar and always will be. I realize I can’t do this alone so I have told my closest and dearest friend who is like a sister. She was not condemning but very understanding. It felt really good to tell her and she is keeping me in fervent prayer. I now have an accountability partner who will keep me in line so I can embrace my deliverance and continue to be a woman of excellence and integrity.

The following is taken from my accountability blog:

Accountability is extremely important because it not only keeps you focused on what is important but it also disciplines you. It helps you keep things in their proper perspective. It keeps you on the right track. It keeps you more in tuned with your actions. It helps you to stop and think before doing something out of character. It keeps you balanced and grounded. Accountability pushes you to do better in areas where you may be falling short. You won't have to face those times of weakness alone if you have an accountability partner. They will keep you on the straight and narrow. Accountability partners also motivate you, push you above and beyond your potential and most importantly cover you in effectual, fervent prayer.

The beautiful thing about exposing my private sin is I know God still loves me. He loved me while I was in bondage and He still loves me. I am the apple of His eye. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  I am now and always will be His baby girl and adorable princess. He is happy now that I am completely free and internally whole. Glory Hallelujah!

Don’t let the devil deceive you into thinking your private sin is the worst of all sins and you can’t be forgiven. Or you have been doing this too long so God isn’t interested in delivering you let alone use you for His Glory. Like I said the devil is a nasty, rotten, pathetic, stinking liar. In God’s eyes sin is sin. There is no big sin or little sin. God is still in the business of forgiving our sins and delivering us from bondages. The only sin that is unforgivable is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.  

And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.  Matthew 12:31

Blasphemy against the Spirit is the continual and deliberate rejection of the Holy Spirit’s witness to Christ, to his Word and to his convicting work against sin.  The process leading to blasphemy against the Spirit is as follows:

(1) Grieving the Spirit, if ongoing, leads to resisting the Spirit;
(2) Resisting the Spirit leads to putting out the Spirit’s fire;
(3) Putting out the Spirit’s fire leads to hardening the heart;
(4) Hardening the heart leads to a depraved mind and to a labeling of good as evil and evil as good.

When this hardening of the heart reaches a certain fullness of development, determined only by God, the Spirit will no longer strive to lead that person to repentance.  

For those who are worried about having committed the unpardonable sin, the very fact of wanting to be forgiven and the willingness to repent of sin is evidence that one has not committed the unpardonable sin.

With that being said it is time to piss the devil off, repent, expose your private sins and be permanently set free.

Please meditate on the following scriptures:

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature … Colossians 3:5

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.  Galatians 5:1

So I say, live by the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.  Galatians 5:16

In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.  Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.  Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.  For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.  Romans 6:11-14

Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.  Romans 8:5

Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.  Romans 8:8

Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  1 Peter 5:8

And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.  It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.  Matthew 5:30

I AM FREE PRAISE THE LORD I’M FREE NO LONGER BOUND NO MORE CHAINS HOLDING ME MY SOUL IS RESTING IT’S SUCH A BLESSING PRAISE THE LORD HALLELUJAH I’M FREE!!!

I give all honor, glory and praise to my Father in Heaven for His patience while I struggled with masturbation. I feel so much lighter and freer now that I have exposed it to the world. 

If you need prayer, please feel free to contact me at 4myfathersglory.com and click on intercession. I personally go to the Father on your behalf. Don’t be afraid to reach out. We can beat the devil together. In addition, I would love to hear your praise reports of how you decided to expose your private sins and have finally been released from the devil’s grip and stronghold.

I LOVE YOU ALL IN JESUS’ NAME

IS YOUR CHILD CHOSEN?

Many are called but few are chosen.  Matthew 22:14, KJV. 

I believe the difference between being called and being chosen is Obedience!  As the bible clearly states, “many are called.”  However, chosen people eventually answer the call of God and with the power of the Holy Spirit, walk humbly before Him to fulfill their unique purpose.

Our children are special gifts from God.  (See Psalm 127:3).  It is our responsibility as parents to raise them up in the ways of the Lord.  In order to accomplish this task, we must give our children back to God while in the womb, keep them in daily prayer and then the Lord will begin to reveal His plans for their lives.  However, if you were not raised in the ways of the Lord, then you won’t raise your children in the ways of the Lord.  As a result, the generational curse goes on and on until it is broken in the Name of Jesus! 

Parents want the best for their children.  They want them to grow up and be successful citizens in the world.  Many times parents try to live unfulfilled dreams or desires through their children by manipulation and control.  The sad truth is when these dreams or desires are not met, the parents are disappointed and the children suffer.  This is why there are so many unhappy people going through life just existing and trying to please everyone!  They spend their lives trying to please the boss, a spouse, a friend, a co-worker, a pastor and the list goes on.  The joyful truth is that the only person we should desire to please is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!  When we try to please anyone else but Christ, unhappiness and emptiness continue to flood our soul. 

My parents did the best they could with what they knew in raising me.  I came from a violently abusive childhood and was always being criticized and judged.  However, I was very different and deep down inside, I knew it.  

My paternal grandmother was a Christian and was sold out to Jesus.  She took me to church and I witnessed the power of God healing and delivering people in miraculous ways.  I saw the lame walk, sick folks made well, demons cast out of people, the spirit of drug abuse, alcohol addiction and prostitution destroyed.  I witnessed my grandmother and other women lay prostrate on the floor interceding on behalf of God’s people for hours in prayer until God came through with His power from on High.  It scared me because I did not understand what was going on, but my grandmother continued taking me to church. 

As I look back, I now realize my grandmother was also praying for my soul and divine direction.  I am so grateful for her dedicated prayers and perseverance.  I know she is the reason why I am sold out to the Lord and walking in His purpose for my life today.  My paternal grandmother died before I gave my life to Christ at the age of 13. 

When I turned 14 years old, I lost my virginity and became a wild and rebellious teenager on the path of total destruction.  I was promiscuous, experimented with drugs, alcohol, cut classes and aborted babies.  I was a selfish, angry, bitter, confused, tormented, and unhappy person.  I also had no respect for myself.

My parents did not know I was chosen by God and created for His purpose.  Unfortunately, my father passed away before the call of God on my life was manifested.  However, when my mother finally realized there was a call on my life, it was not embraced.  This caused many problems and it was the beginning of my life being tested by God. 

I totally surrendered my life to the Lord in 1995 and finally answered the call of God for my life in 1997.  God began dealing with me in major ways and I realized my focus was centered on pleasing man.  In addition, I always tried to please my mom so I enrolled in a community college hoping to win her approval.  I never completed college because my heart was simply not in it. 

I then began praying and asking the Lord to reveal His purpose for my life.  I enrolled in Bible College and did exceptionally well.  From that point on, God’s plan began to unravel little by little.  I knew my life had meaning and purpose.  I no longer felt like “another human being just existing!” 

I realize now that the heartache and pain I experienced as a child was set up by God so the gifts and talents He placed in me would manifest and one day be used for His Glory. 

I was always interested in spelling, literature and English.  The ability to put words in a sentence so that the reader could easily understand always fascinated me.  I always wrote down my feelings on paper because it made me feel better.  I now understand writing is one of my gifts from God and I thoroughly enjoy it. 

I always cried and talked through my tears because I did not understand what was going on and why things were so bad.  It has now become clear God was preparing me to be one of His chosen and faithful intercessors crying out on behalf of others.

Living the life of a chosen child has not been easy.  As a matter of fact, it has been downright difficult, frustrating, painful, confusing, discouraging and lonely.  I was always misunderstood and never received support or encouragement.  In addition, I also experienced suffering and persecution because of my firm commitment to Christ.  (See Matthew 5:10). 

Having lived on both sides of the fence, I can tell you it is a lot easier being the chosen child going through life’s trials and tribulations with the Lord than it is without Him.  (See John 16:33).  No matter what storms you have to press through or what obstacles stand in your way, God promises to always be with you.  (See Matthew 28:20).

I am now the mother of two fine, bright, healthy young men that I love with all my heart.  When I think of them my heart melts and a bright smile appears on my face.  The challenges I endured because my parents did not understand the “chosen call” on my life prepared me to be the understanding, supportive, encouraging mother I am today. 

In closing, my motivation and encouragement for waking up is that I know my life has meaning, the Lord has an ordained purpose just for me, I am loved by God unconditionally and when my mother and father forsake me, He is with me forever!  (See Psalm 27:10).

SPECIAL NOTE TO PARENTS:  Please, please, please support and encourage your child, especially the chosen one.  And by all means please let your child know how godly proud you are of him or her in deciding to step out from the norm to seek the Lord in pursuing their purpose. 

It’s hard to understand your child when he or she is chosen by God. They don’t think like others and they do things differently.  If your child is called to be a visionary, the Lord places visions (which begin with an idea) in their spirits and as the vision grows, your child is literally able to see what will come to pass.  If your child is called to be an artist, they have been given the wonderful gift to create.  Visionaries and artists are very unique but special in the eyes of God.  I can comment on these two gifts because my sister (aka my bff) and I are visionaries and artists!

If you have to pray and seek God on how to understand and support your child’s calling, please get on your knees.  It is hard enough trying to get support from the outside and having to battle the enemy.  They don’t need to battle with you too! 

Climbing the corporate ladder, making lots of money, owning a fancy home and driving an expensive car is not important.  What’s important is whether your child has received salvation, loves the Lord and lives to please Him and only Him! 

Remember your child’s life is not about you and your pride.  It’s not about you trying to manipulate and control them so you will feel better about yourself. 

Your child’s life is about the Lord and what He wants to accomplish through them.  Your child belongs to God and he or she is a special gift to you from Him!  You may not understand the call of God placed on your child’s life, but you should at least respect it.   

I'M TIRED BUT GOD IS STILL GOD

"Be encouraged girl, it will get better." "You know God is faithful so hang in there." "God is not going to let you down." "He has always come through." "Cheer up it could be worse." "Girl you can't give up now." "I'm praying for you, it's going to be alright."

I feel like I just can't take another step or do another thing. All the quotes and scriptures in the world aren’t making a bit of difference. I’ve heard it all and honestly that just isn't working anymore. Plain and simple – I Aint Feeling It.

I have prayed, fasted, praised and worshipped. I have been obedient to the Lord to the best of my knowledge. I have moved from place to place and coast to coast. I have labored on my face for others. I have received blessings in between. I have had tons of ups and downs, trials and tribulations, joys and sorrows. I have been betrayed by people I thought were my friends. I have been misunderstood by family. I have been persecuted by all. I have received no support from anyone except my son and non-biological sister. I have been talked about, lied on, mistreated and ostracized.

I have been expecting a breakthrough for years. Of course I have seen bits and pieces of my destiny which at the time was fascinating. Then a new year rolled around and I thought "surely this is the year that all of God's promises will be manifested finally." I was all “pumped up” and my “adrenaline was flowing at high speed with heavy excitement.” Another year ended and the promises were just that - promises. I think “okay may be I missed God last year.” With even greater anticipation I believe this year is definitely “The Year” for sure. I even felt major breakthrough in my spirit and actually heard messages talking about breakthroughs. However, that year came to a close and ..........! The cycle continued for years and it is now 2012.

God has been saying over three years “He’s getting me out of here and off the east coast.” Hallelujah because I cannot stand the east coast. He finally said recently "pack up your suitcase.” I want you to give away the majority of your clothes (I don't have much) because you need to travel light and besides I am going to give you new clothes. Call and make arrangements to have the items picked up as soon as possible. Okay Lord! Ooo this is exciting. I know my time must be short. He reminds me of every promise, dream and vision He has given me over the years.

Well that’s all good but I'm still here. I have no date of departure. I have no clue as to where I am going. All I know is it won’t be on the east coast. And yet God said make the call and have the clothes picked up as soon as possible. Meanwhile God keeps adding more and more to the larger than life vision He has placed within me.

By now I am holding on by the skin of my teeth. I am hanging from a dead, bony branch lodged over a cliff that is probably at least 1,000 feet into the air over a large body of water thousands of feet deep. I am still praying, reading, praising and worshipping. But all the promises are still promises written in my journal and deep in my spirit.

I am now looking at my situation in the natural (not the right thing to do because I am supposed to walk by faith not by sight) and am weary and tired. (See 2Corinthians 5:7).

[Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on water. As long as he kept his eyes focused on Jesus he was fine. However the moment he took his eyes off of Jesus, he began to sink]. Please read Matthew 14:22-36.

Still in the natural I begin to think "Is God coming through?" "Am I getting out of here?" "Did I hear correctly?" Now my thoughts have turned into "I can't believe God wanted me to do that and He is not going to fulfill his end of the deal." "I can't believe I'm still here." "I am so mad at God right now." "I feel betrayed." Deep inside I know these things are not true but I still feel them anyway because I'm tired.

I feel like I can't go another day. I feel like if I stay here too much longer I am going to die spiritually because my destiny is not here. This area is DEAD and everyone around me is DEAD. Why am I feeling this way? My destiny is not connected to this place. I am not supposed to feel comfortable. Getting up and pressing through each minute is a task. But I am doing it. More and more I think “Oh God you have got to get me out of here.” “Please don't leave me here.”

There is no excitement around me. Everything is DEAD to the core like a cemetery DEAD! Nothing is happening but I keep getting up (barely) even though I'm tired. God has been encouraging me and I am thankful but it doesn’t seem like enough at this point. I need to see the live manifestations like yesterday.

I am literally at the breaking point of giving up because I'm tired. Like I said the encouragement has been very sweet but I am at the end and I need God Himself to come down out of heaven to encourage me or if that doesn't happen then I need GOD to part the RED SEA!

Everything in me wants to give up but not my spirit. I remember God is faithful and has been faithful to ME. I can recollect all the miracles he has performed in my life. I remember the stories in the Bible of people wanting to give up but kept going and made it to the finish line.

I appreciate how far the Lord has brought me. I am grateful for Jesus saving me, healing me and delivering me. I am thankful for the Holy Spirit filling me. I am appreciative for God loving me so unconditionally that He gave up His son Jesus Christ so I could have eternal life.

Even though I'm tired God is still God all by Himself and there is no other like Him. I am going to keep pressing on because He hasn’t given up on me and I won’t give up on Him. I am pressing because God has never told a lie and He has brought me too far to turn back now. Besides what am I going back to? Nothing but a life of sin, pride, unforgiveness, flesh pleasing, torment and torture that would eventually lead me into HELL. No thanks devil!

I am expecting to receive everything and I mean everything God has promised me including my husband. I am expecting the vision to be fulfilled in my lifetime. I am expecting God to come through because He is and always will be My Faithful, Sweet, and Lovable Man. I love you Daddy!

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount upon wings like eagles; they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

IT IS OKAY TO BE TIRED BUT DON’T STAY THERE

BECAUSE GOD IS STILL GOD

SEXUAL PURITY

Scenario One:  Come on baby if you love me then you will have sex with me.  I don’t want to.  I am trying to stay celibate until marriage.  We’ve already done everything else.  We might as well go all the way.  Feeling guilty you think well I did let him fondle me and kiss all over me.  I guess it wouldn’t be fair to walk away and not give him any.  

Scenario Two:  I know you’re a virgin but I want to be your first.  That would make me feel so special.  You want me to feel special don’t you?

Scenario Three:  I’m tired of being used like a meat market.  I can’t seem to have a meaningful relationship.  Every time I think this is the right guy I quickly find out otherwise. I want to do the right thing now and wait until marriage. 

These are just a few scenarios that I’m sure some of you have experienced at some point in your life.  For others, you may be experiencing them right now.   

The bottom line is once you make up your mind to stay pure for marriage, the devil begins to wear and tear on your mind with negative thoughts such as: “You’ve already had sex why stop now.”  “If you decide to wait now then you’ll always be alone.”  “Besides it’s better to test the waters before taking that big step.”  “What if you get married and the sex is not good.” 

I don’t know how you feel about remaining sexually pure before marriage but I do know how God feels and that’s what’s important. 

God requires and demands holiness and that is no debate.  Holiness is God’s priority for His children.  Christians are created in the image of God and should be living examples of Jesus Christ.  (See Genesis 1:27)

Holiness means (1) being set apart from the ungodly world and its ways; (2) separation from sin; (3) being set apart for God to fulfill His purpose through us; (4) being set apart to praise and worship our Father; (5) being close to God; (6) to be like God; and, (7) to seek God’s presence with all our hearts. 

Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.  Hebrews 12:14

But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: Be holy because I am holy.  1 Peter 1:15-16

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.  1 Peter 2:9

We must remain sexually and morally pure.  In addition, we must not indulge in acts or thoughts that incite desire which would cause one to lose their virginity before marriage or dishonor the marriage vow.  We must control the body in a way that is holy and honorable and not in passionate lust.  Maintaining self-control is easier said than done for some people.  That is why the Bible talks about self-control which is one of the fruit of the spirit.  It means to master one’s own desires and passions, including faithfulness to one’s marriage vows and purity.  (See Galatians 5:22-23)

Sexual intimacy is created, approved and blessed by God and is specifically reserved for marriage relationships.  Through the marriage covenant, the husband and wife become one flesh.  (See Ephesians 5:31)  The physical and emotional pleasures resulting from a faithful marriage relationship are ordained by God and held in honor by Him.

Sexual immorality and impurity means forbidden intercourse and sexual acts of gratification with another person outside of the confines of marriage.  It also includes uncovering, exploiting or exploring a person’s nakedness.  Any teaching that says sexual intimacy among “committed” unmarried youth and adults is acceptable as long as it stops short of full sexual contact is a teaching contrary to God’s holiness and purity.  (See 1Corinthians 6:13-20)

Oral sex and fondling (or touching) one another is also immoral.  These acts lead to hot passionate lust and the inability to stop before penal penetration.  God explicitly prohibits having any kind of sexual relations with anyone who is not a lawful wife or husband.  After marriage, sexual intimacy absolutely must be confined to one’s marriage partner.

Sexual immorality includes a wide variety of sexual activities including sexual toys before or outside of marriage.  (See Leviticus 18:6-30)

Debauchery or sensuality defies moral principles and arouses sinful lust.  (See 1Peter 4:3)

Exploiting or taking advantage of someone means to deprive another of the moral purity that God desires for that person in order to satisfy one’s own self-centered desires.  To arouse in another person sexual desires that cannot be righteously fulfilled is to exploit or take advantage of that person.  (See 1Thessalonians 4:6)

Lust is having an immoral desire that one would fulfill if the opportunity arose.  (See 2Peter 2:18)

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.  Hebrews 13:4

Maintaining sexual purity is not easy and absolutely cannot be done without the Lord.  If you are like me, I have a high propensity for sex and it is a weakness.  With that being said, it has been a challenge for me to stay sex free but the mercy, love and grace of the Lord has kept me.

Some of you may know my testimony but for those of you who don’t here it is in a nut shell.  I was abused by my father who was also dominant and controlling.  Healthy love was never received so I began searching and trying to fill this void through unhealthy, sexual encounters with men. 

I lost my virginity at the age of 14, was raped anally by my boyfriend who also manipulated, controlled, verbally, mentally and physically abused me.  I finally got out of that situation and my search for love continued.  I had four abortions by the age of 21 and was told I would not be able to have children.  Needless to say, my son was born later but I almost lost him at childbirth.  I kept searching for love in men not realizing only Jesus could fill that deep hole.  I ended up having four more abortions and I lost a set of twins.  Every guy I met abused me in some sort of way.  But in my mind, I did not think anything was wrong.  All I knew was that I needed to be and wanted to be loved, appreciated and adored. 

We are willing to talk about drug, alcohol and cigarette addiction.  However, when a person is having unprotected sex (especially these days when AIDS and STD’s are raging) with more than one party, we just want to say she or he is promiscuous.  No, let’s call it what it is, he or she is probably addicted to sex!  We need to stop turning our noses up at people struggling with addictions.  They need our support, compassion and assistance. Absolutely none of these people deserve our judgment or criticism!  (See Matthew 7:1-5)

After I aborted the second child, my heart grew cold and my body became physically numb to the pain.  My hungry search for healthy love was my agenda day in and day out.  I felt the only way for me to receive the love I was desperately looking for would be to have sex.  In my twisted thinking, each sexual encounter gave me hope that “this man will be different.”  When that did not happen, I became pregnant and aborted yet another baby. 

By the time I aborted the third child, it was like another day gone by.  I developed a “wax cold demeanor“ because if I had taken the time to think about the killing of my children, my human side would have taken over and that would have forced me to stop having sex which at the time, sex was my “drug of choice.”  As long as I did not think about my negative actions, I could continue along the path of self-destruction and keep taking my “drug of choice” because I needed that “daily fix.”

I am grateful the Lord kept me alive during every abortion and I never experienced any severe complications.  God has cleansed and healed my body inside and out from every sexual encounter and every instrument used to abort my children.  In addition, I am so thankful the Lord has delivered me and healed me mentally and emotionally!  I LOVE HIM!!!

I finally became sick and tired of going from man to man and never being satisfied.  Deep down inside I knew there was something better than giving up my body.  I cried out to the Lord and He heard my cry.  I became occupied with much prayer, study of the Word and fellowship.  I constantly stay focused on the Word and my purpose to keep my mind free so I won’t fall into temptation. 

Side Note:  I refrain from watching programs and movies with sexual scenes.  I am careful of what I allow my ears to hear.  I also refrain from doing anything that would stir up lust and immoral desires.  I now respect myself and I get total respect from men.

If you need counseling, prayer or a listening ear, please feel free to contact me via email at 4myfathersglory@gmail.com